Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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