Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
