Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize