Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
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He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
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He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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