fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
