She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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