Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
