I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
