Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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