nut hugger
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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