like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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