During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
try to milk me bitch
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