Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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