The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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