We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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