im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she looked like the before picture.
well you can't waste a boner
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
