So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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