There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We just shotgunned beers for America
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
