remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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