I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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