he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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