Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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