The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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