She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize