so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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