In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
