There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
