btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
