He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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