Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize