fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
