Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
