Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
