At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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