just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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