Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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