you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
