Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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