Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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