Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
