In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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