I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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