And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wish i was in the wii world.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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