He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
