May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
