We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
