I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
