Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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