i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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