Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Buhtt sex?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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