Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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