what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
