if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
