LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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