He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Panties = found
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