So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
