didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
