I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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