judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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