shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize