Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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