Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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