I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
