You're completely useless in the revolution.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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