I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
