We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
