Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
